A Queer Life

Most people believe sex work is immoral but especially religious people. Only recently has sex work become sort of normalized, but still not really.   Anyway, it’s probably no surprise that growing up, I was taught that sex workers were basically soulless meat husks. And yet, I was intrigued by the idea of being a stripper, or a prostitute, or a porn star. I would see shows on TV with sex workers and think, why aren’t they having fun? I would have fun. But, of course, I would never because that was evil. Good thing I had the church keeping me on the straight and narrow, otherwise I would have sold my soul to the devil years ago. It just looks like such a good time. Well, now I’m not Mormon anymore.  Nowadays there are so many ways to work independently as a writer, or a moviemaker, or a porn star. Now I’m older, less fit, less attractive in lots of ways, but the desire to be a sex worker hasn’t left. And here I am, on the verge of separating from my husband, I need to f...

When I was in Kindergarten I had a crush on a girl. I thought she was the most beautiful creature in the world. I invited her to my sixth birthday party and I was so excited when she came. I told her that I thought she was really pretty and she said I was pretty too. When we got our picture packets from picture day, I asked her for a wallet sized one (because that’s what you did in those days). She gave me one and I was so excited that now I could stare at her unblinkingly without it being awkward.  I showed my mom my class picture then showed her the picture of my friend and told her how pretty that girl was. My mom said the girl was okay looking but definitely not the prettiest girl in the world, not even the prettiest girl in the class. She pointed out another girl and said she was the prettiest girl in the class. I felt so sad about that and I even tried switching my brain around to like that girl, but she didn’t do anything for me. I still looked at the picture of my friend ...

  As a Mormon college student I once read an article in Vogue magazine written by a man who went to a cocktail party with lots of very fashionable people. Around this time breast-baring dresses were walking down the runway, but runway and red carpet looks were never intended to be wearable as is. Sure, Madonna might expose her lovelies for the cameras, but she probably won’t go to the gas station like that, or a cocktail party…I’m assuming. Most people, even celebrities, who buy dresses like the naked breast dress, would wear something to cover up, at least a little. Anyway, this guy writing the article saw a woman with her breasts exposed at a cocktail party. This wasn’t an accident, it was one of those dresses, and just like Madonna on stage, she didn’t cover anything. The Article Man, or TAM, wondered what kind of woman would wear a dress like that in public, so he approached her. He found out she was a recent college graduate from a Mormon school called Ricks in Idaho. She said...

I wanted to be a writer since I knew what writing was. That was all I wanted to do with my life. R.L. Stine once said that he found a typewriter when he was nine years old and from that point on just spent all of his time writing. His parents told him to go out and play, and he said, “Why would I want to do that? This is what I want.” The thing about writing is that is possesses your soul. It is like a codependent relationship. You think about it all the time. You want to spend all your time with it. When you’re together nothing else matters. Of course, some days you might fight, or just be prickly with each other, but it’s always glorious. It’s always worth it. It’s like the all the romance movie cliches: “Soul mates.” “Two halves of a heart.” “We spent all our lives trying to find each other.” “Fireworks.” “Magic.” “Connection.” I spent most of my life writing, but having such a passionate love of something makes other people uncomfortable. That’s where the saying: “don’t quit your d...

  I suppose you could say it was a whirlwind romance. You could also say it was a long time coming. But since I don’t trust romance, whirlwind or otherwise, I’m pretty uncomfortable with all of it. There is a term for these giddy feelings: NRE- New Relationship Energy. New relationship energy frightens me. I have always run from it. But here I am, at the ripe old age of forty-three and I decided to give it a shot for the first time. Tyler was gone for work again. He had been gone for seven days so far and I needed some adult companionship. So I invited my friend, Ariel, over. I met Ariel over a year ago at the Pride parade. Ariel had a kid who liked our kids. She had two partners, a guy and a non-binary partner. Poly people in the house! Tyler and I became friends with her and her family. We didn’t see them a lot, because we lived an hour away, but they felt like family right away. I remember meeting Ariel’s husband, Charles, and how his voice and his energy felt like a warm hug. A...

I saw him the first time when I was shopping, not applying for a job. I applied for a job a few weeks before and they hired someone else. But I liked the store, I liked the whole damn company, so I kept shopping there despite my bitterness at not being hired. So there I was, in the store, browsing, when a door to the back opened and for a brief second before it closed again I saw the inner company workings, but mostly I saw him . I had seen enough videos, I knew who he was. He was the company president. This store was a small extension of a company that created a lifestyle (and sometimes, an obsession) for women that encompassed principles of clothing, hair, makeup, personality, relationships, child-rearing (and more!). They created videos, wrote blogs, and held events educating their customers on their system. I knew all the company’s main players. Aleiah was one of the mainest and he was Tom, her husband. That moment of seeing him struck me like a holy vision. Our eyes didn’t meet a...

  Seeking a Nanny We are looking for a hot lesbian to look after our two boys. I guess you could be bisexual. My husband and I are polyamorous so we’re both cool if you want to have sex with either of us, or both of us. We’re looking for long-term commitment. We’re looking for a new family member. This isn’t just about sex (although sex is important), so that makes us the opposite of unicorn hunters, right? We will give you room and board and a nice warm bed (really nice, really warm). We are both quite attractive, but our tastes in women differ, so don’t be too disappointed if you only end up with one of us. Oh yeah, and the boys are cute too.