What the hell is wrong with people?

A millenia ago, there was a TV show called American Idol. I used to watch this show. 

All those lifetimes ago, I was also Mormon and subscribed to all those Mormon beliefs; one of which was telling teenaged girls: "When you dress immodestly, you become pornography for men." I was also married to a man who many would describe as "downright abusive"; but he never hit me, so it took me a minute to figure out. Don't worry, I'll connect all these dots in a minute.

It was the day after some high profile awards show and the Internet talk was about Jennifer Lopez's nip-slip the night before. I dug deeper trying to figure out what happened. Had her boob just popped out of her dress while presenting? Did she act embarrassed? How did the audience respond? I had trouble finding much except a few benign pictures of her presenting. There was speculation about whether her exposure was on purpose or not. Eventually I found a video of her whole time on stage. It was only a few minutes and completely boring, just like those rewards shows always are. And I didn't see any nip-slip. 

What was everyone talking about? Did she present twice and it happened the second time? I kept digging and eventually found a close up of her chest in her very low cut dress. 

The Internet was going crazy over a tiny sliver of a shadow that might possibly be a part of her nipple. But it also might not, and you had to be staring at that shit with a magnifying glass to see anything. How had anyone even noticed? 

I sat back in my chair feeling dumbfounded. Was I still missing something? But I was pretty sure I scoured the Internet thoroughly on this particular topic. Were people this crazy? 

That night I watched American Idol with my "downright abusive" husband and Jennifer Lopez was one of the celebrity judges, as usual. 

Steven Tyler was also one of the judges and at one point during the show he said, "Here's my impression of Jennifer Lopez." And he pulled open his shirt, exposing his nipple. The camera cut to Jennifer and she was kind of smiling but her smile seemed forced and uncomfortable. (The nip-slip was probably not intentional.) Steven was still working the joke, milking it longer than it deserved, especially since it wasn't funny in the first place.

"What do you think about that?" Abusive husband asked me. 

"I don't think she wore anything worse than anyone else there. I don't know why she's getting all the hate. But I guess if she wanted to be safe, she shouldn't have worn such a low cut dress in the first place."

"She looked like a whore," he said. "Her nipple was clearly showing and she probably did it on purpose for attention."

Her nipple was not clearly showing but I knew better than to argue with him, so I stayed quiet. 

At the time, I wasn't clear on my feelings around the whole ordeal. Now I am and I am pissed. 

The reason I am pissed is because Jennifer Lopez, and every other woman in the world, has the right to wear whatever the hell they want. But for some reason, people, especially men, feel entitled to judge and belittle and harass women about their clothing and their bodies. Steven Tyler's "joke" was sexual harassment, on TV, in public, and no one seemed to care. Ha ha, it's funny. But it wasn't, and even if it was a genuinely good joke, it would still be sexual harassment. 

Anyway, I have way more to say on this topic than this single blog can handle. My main point is: talking about a woman's body is at least, a violation of her boundaries; and at most, sexual harassment. And it pisses me off that our society has accepted this behavior as normal and even funny. There is so little regard for the person, the fellow human, they are talking about. Even national public television didn't edit out or comment on Steven Tyler's harassment. No one batted an eye. Yet, Jennifer Lopez's nip-slip was newsworthy. So yeah, I'm pissed.

I'll speak more on this topic later.