A Queer Life

I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.” Hello my pretties! I am not so young anymore and the rule is: if you are older than thirty, you should get off the internet, or at least don't hang out in young spaces and taint all the young people with your oldness, especially if you are commenting and stating how old you are to a bunch of young people. That is basically like spreading cooties on the playground.  Well, I'm about to be the playground cooties spreader.  I'm not so young anymore (I won't state my age, but let's just say I could by my kid's grandmother.) And as I get older I'm noticing changes: my skin is not beautiful anymore. Which is weird, because I never thought my skin was beautiful, but now that it's gone, it was beautiful. My never muscular body has lost all of its muscle definition. I get rashes all the time (is that an age thing? It feels li...

"Some days I do yoga and don't yell at my kids. Some days I scream at them while eating cake over the kitchen sink. It's called balance." - @katiebinghamsmith Hello my pretties! Motherhood.    The pressure of having a tiny, fragile life dependent on you for safety, emotional support, love, survival, food, shelter, and....and....and....everything. Their huge eyes, so trusting. Trusting you are capable of God-like power. Ultimate control over these helpless creatures can humble us or inebriate our ego.  I don't know which side of the fence I'm on; the idea of spending my day with people who won't brush their teeth or bathe or eat anything except candy without coercion makes me want to curl up and pull the blankets over my head.   Confessing my struggles to others was met with suggestions to ask moms for advice or read parenting books or some other third thing. What none of these sources address is how I'm supposed to parent when parenting feels unnatural...