A Queer Life

"If the Mormon Church weren't true, it would never have survived testimony meeting."- My mom Hello my pretties! I just listened to a thirteen hour audiobook about the occult. Having grown up Mormon, this changed everything for me. The first Sunday of every month Mormons devote a meeting to baring their testimonies. All two hundred and fifty of us sit in silence waiting for someone to approach the podium and talk about how we know the church is true. This testimony usually begins with the person talking about how the Spirit prompted them to get up. This is often followed by some uncomfortable declaration, like how they really love their family even though they don't show it. Or how they are grateful for God's love even though they are a sinner. Then they usually tell a story proving that God loves and blesses his faithful children; like walking away from an intersection minutes before a car crashes there.  Everyone has these kinds of stories. I used to collect them...

  As a Mormon college student I once read an article in Vogue magazine written by a man who went to a cocktail party with lots of very fashionable people. Around this time breast-baring dresses were walking down the runway, but runway and red carpet looks were never intended to be wearable as is. Sure, Madonna might expose her lovelies for the cameras, but she probably won’t go to the gas station like that, or a cocktail party…I’m assuming. Most people, even celebrities, who buy dresses like the naked breast dress, would wear something to cover up, at least a little. Anyway, this guy writing the article saw a woman with her breasts exposed at a cocktail party. This wasn’t an accident, it was one of those dresses, and just like Madonna on stage, she didn’t cover anything. The Article Man, or TAM, wondered what kind of woman would wear a dress like that in public, so he approached her. He found out she was a recent college graduate from a Mormon school called Ricks in Idaho. She said...