A Queer Life

Polygon - reverting back to monogamy... Hello my magic bean buyers! I want to talk about my polyamorous days dating Charles. Why? I don't know. Just because.  Charles was too young for me. Let's get that out of the way right now. He was too young, but I needed an ego boost and a distraction, and Charles wasn't demanding. At first Charles was enjoyable company. He was a good listener and seemed to have an active life: competitive sword fighting, visiting family in the country, building an elaborate haunted house, vacationing at a lake in Oklahoma.  And then we had sex.  We had sex because my relationship with my husband, Tyler, needed to change and having sex with Charles seemed like it would do the trick.  But before we had sex, I wanted to call Tyler.  Charles said, "Aren't you guys separating anyway?"  "Yes." He shrugged like he just won an argument and suddenly I hated him. I still wanted to have sex with him though. And because I can't say no...

"If the Mormon Church weren't true, it would never have survived testimony meeting."- My mom Hello my pretties! I just listened to a thirteen hour audiobook about the occult. Having grown up Mormon, this changed everything for me. The first Sunday of every month Mormons devote a meeting to baring their testimonies. All two hundred and fifty of us sit in silence waiting for someone to approach the podium and talk about how we know the church is true. This testimony usually begins with the person talking about how the Spirit prompted them to get up. This is often followed by some uncomfortable declaration, like how they really love their family even though they don't show it. Or how they are grateful for God's love even though they are a sinner. Then they usually tell a story proving that God loves and blesses his faithful children; like walking away from an intersection minutes before a car crashes there.  Everyone has these kinds of stories. I used to collect them...

I couldn’t understand why the baseball kept getting closer and closer ... and then it hit me. Hello, my pretties! I missed work today. My terrible Tuesday feelings are usually fixed by wearing my Tuesday  pants. But lately I have felt so terrible on Tuesdays that I have called in sick three Tuesdays in a row.  This morning I woke up dizzy and vomited. I felt so nauseated I couldn't eat anything except peppermint sticks and a maple bar. I just want you to know I'm barely pulling this blog together. The things I do for you. I'm sort of upright. Sort of writing. Pho sounds good.  Anyway, it's probably time to lay back down and drift off to a place where thinking doesn't matter. Happy national blueberry pancake day! (I might be able to eat those.)  Love and kisses, Sophia Skyy

“Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.” —Ray Romano Hello, my pretties! I used to work at an accounting firm where my title was "Director of First Impressions". This title made me feel insecure because I'm not confident in my ability to make a good impression. I mostly stare at people or want to be ignored. Anyway, my real title was front desk person.  I started this job being nervous about the dress code. Dress codes for women are shaky things and I lean towards pretending pajamas are clothes. So I bought tights and got a headache every morning wondering if my clothes were good enough. When I was told that I was hired for my magnificent personality and I should just be myself, I relaxed with my clothes and started being a little experimental.  Then I was brought into the bosses office and reprimanded for my clothing choices. My boss was being as nice as possible, but in her nicen...