The Story of Charles

Polygon - reverting back to monogamy...

Hello my magic bean buyers!

I want to talk about my polyamorous days dating Charles. Why? I don't know. Just because. 

Charles was too young for me. Let's get that out of the way right now. He was too young, but I needed an ego boost and a distraction, and Charles wasn't demanding.

At first Charles was enjoyable company. He was a good listener and seemed to have an active life: competitive sword fighting, visiting family in the country, building an elaborate haunted house, vacationing at a lake in Oklahoma. 

And then we had sex. 

We had sex because my relationship with my husband, Tyler, needed to change and having sex with Charles seemed like it would do the trick. 

But before we had sex, I wanted to call Tyler. 

Charles said, "Aren't you guys separating anyway?" 

"Yes."

He shrugged like he just won an argument and suddenly I hated him. I still wanted to have sex with him though. And because I can't say no to men, especially when they apply pressure, I didn't call Tyler either. I'm really so pathetic. I hate myself sometimes. 

So I had sex with Charles and the next day his wife, Sarah, told me what a good partner he is. "He is very communicative and non-heirarchical." I didn't know I signed up for a partnership with him. I just wanted to fuck him to dismantle my marriage. Oh well.

Me, Sarah and Charles went to a festival a few hours later and he held my hand the whole time, which was like dragging around a dead body.

And because I am illogical, irrational and insane, a week later I became obsessed with him. Every text was sent like a vibrating pane of glass and his response would keep me from shattering. After several days this energy passed like a hurricane warning with no storm. And suddenly Charles and polyamory were extremely annoying.

I didn't like polyamory at the best of times, but Charles had a divine kind of idiocy.

He would arrange a phone date with me and then disappear when our date rolled around. He was unaware this was a pattern. When I informed him, he said I should leave little text breadcrumbs to remind him. I said I wouldn't do that. He said he would do better. 

I didn't want him to be better. If he couldn't remember we were in a relationship, he wasn't really worth keeping around. 

And he was always on the hunt for more partners, openly flirting with any attractive woman, when he couldn't handle his current relationships.

Maybe the thing that bothered me most was how, after six years, Jane, Charles's main partner, was still uncomfortable with polyamory; and instead of seeing Jane's concerns as valid, Sarah and Charles and their therapist told her she just had daddy issues. 

I kept Charles around because it was nice having a social life outside of my husband and kids. So I had fun with Charles and his friends sometimes.

Technically, Charles and I dated for about six months. The last three months I did the bare minimum. If he texted I responded. If he asked me out, I went out, but I wouldn't spend a weekend, or even a Saturday with him, the way I used to. I wouldn't spend the night. And the last time we had sex, I regretted it. 

The last five weeks I wondered if we would just fizzle out. We hadn't talked for a month and I didn't care. Then suddenly he texted, asking if we could talk. This was my silver platter break up opportunity. 

The problem with all the polyamorous people I know is they don't think breaking up is valid. 

I told Charles I needed to be alone right now. Did I need more space? He could give me more space. I just needed to be alone right now. Did I need something different from our relationship? He could give me whatever I needed. I just needed to be alone right now. After ten minutes of repeating myself, he accepted the breakup. 

I hung up the phone exhausted but relieved. That relationship was six months too long and it was finally over. But I still felt grief. For hours I moped around feeling lost. 

That was over two years ago and we haven't talked since. 

And that is the story of Charles. I hope it was worth reading. Was it worth having? I don't know. 

Happy national Escape Day! I think I need that one today.

Love and kisses,

Sophia Skyy