It's been a few days since my last entry for a reason.

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data. 


Hello my pretties!


Well it has been a nutty week. After an active shooter incident, I just spent the week wrung out at work. I didn't need this.


Work feels like an emergency room, constantly being on my toes, reacting and triaging everything that walks through the door and barely getting anything else done. I guess that kind of job works for some people but not me. I went home every night and crashed a deep and senseless crash, only to wake up, unrested, and go again. 


I spent all week feeling really frustrated and then yesterday happened. Yesterday I went to an hour and a half meeting where they gave us more problem solving tools. "I am not this person!" I screamed in my head. I don't want a job of surprises and riddles and new people every day. 


I am over forty. After a life of feeling too young, too overwhelmed, too new at everything, I now feel more stable, more mature, more secure. I feel like a grown up. I feel like myself and I am learning what fits me instead of thinking I can be anyone and do anything; and no matter how well I can do my job, I don't like it. It is uncomfortable to me. I can say that now.


I don't do well with people approaching me all day, needy looks pressed into their foreheads and mouths. I do well sitting alone in silence, figuring things out. I probably would have made a good lawyer, but copywriting is a little more obtainable, so I'm following that path now. 


It all seems so obvious and I feel stupid for taking so long to figure it out but I guess that's what mid-life crises are all about.



Happy mid-life crisis day, everyone! (I did actually make that one up. It just seemed appropriate.)


With love and kisses,


Sophia Skyy


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